In the company of males.

Greek Islands---I have been living with 3 males, on a 44 foot boat, for the past 60+ days. I grew up with no brothers and have never been married. And with all this said, I now know for sure, they ARE from a different planet.

Granted, one is a kid, one a teenager and one a man. But even so, that gives me the full view of this species in several stages.

What’s funny: Amongst the younger of the species, there is a vast difference in what they consider funny. Body noises, scenes or lines from movies repeated up to 50 times in one sitting, me having the metal clip fall on my head, my shoe floating off OR the fact I have now hurt myself on the boat 86 times (and they are the ones counting). For these things, I see no humor. Even the older of the species only holds back due to a learned politeness that comes with age verses a natural tendency to laugh. Monte Python does have its funny moments but to have entire scenes memorized and act them out…repeatedly, is NEVER anything my female friends would consider doing.

What’s Clean: There are “Boat Clothes” divided into 2 categories; salty and non-salty. You get one set of each that can be worn until it is sniffed repeatedly and considered “smelly”. Until then, it’s fair game to wear the same thing for well over a week. Salty clothes are only used to go to the beach or get in the sea with. Actual stains or spots have absolutely nothing to do with this formula of needing to be cleaned. Then, there are “Shore Clothes.” These are clothing that other humans may see you in at a port or village. These can be boat cloths unless there are obvious rips. Wrinkles or the fact the t-shirt was first worn in 1985 and the logos have faded beyond recognition is completely irrelevant. Same smelly rules apply.

What’s Shopping: Among the male species on this trip, shopping is strictly a "seek, obtain and withdraw as fast as possible" act. There is no browsing, no looking around, and no window shopping. I found this out on our first road trip as I whimpered past several shoe shops seeing their unwillingness to let me go inside. To them, there is no pleasure in spending hours to see what is there, even if you are not looking for it or do not intend on buying it.

What’s Emotional: What I’m emotional about; flying across the aft cabin and the bruise to follow the size of an I-HOP pancake; Hitting my head on various boat ledges; nightmares; Missing people. What the Man-species is emotional about: motors not working; anything that breaks, the thought of high heels on his boat, children addicted to computer-anything; the wind.

We are different and I will go on and wear a different outfit each day on the boat, pick out one of my summer dresses to go ashore, laugh hysterically at my own jokes, cry over bruises or when I’m lonely, and in port, slip away by myself to window shop.