Remember summer vacations as a kid? It would always seem like the memories of the summer were longer than the school year, yet it was only a few months. That’s what it’s been like for me since I left for this new life aboard Sailing Yacht Juno. So much has happened; I just can’t believe it’s only been 2 months.
There have been some unexpected stages in my “adjusting” to all this.
Of course I expected the drastic change of lifestyle to be hard and prepared to be kind to myself. But I think all in all, it came easily. What I did not expect were these 3 things: Nightmares, Guilt, Gypsy-ness.
NIGHTMARES: Since I have been away I have had vivid dreams most every night. Each one is the same with a little variation. And it is each and every dream that I am back at my job, not really employed but observing or having conversations with past clients or co-workers. I’m trying to get back to the boat, somehow stuck there. It’s never a good dream. I wake up exhausted and feeling hurt by what was said. This, I never expected or prepared for. After 26 years of business, I left a little hurt and I guess can’t just resign and leave it behind after all. I ask everyday: When will the dream stop? Please go away.
GUILT: I went through a stage of feeling guilty of this great opportunity that I am living. Feeling almost undeserving---for lack of a better word. Then I started asking myself, if not me than whom? So I would list all my friends and say; “do they deserve this?” The answer was always yes. So between being in the company of many others and the thought that I am simply taking a year and a half of retirement and moving it forward, knowing full well I’ll enter the “work force” again. I am at peace with being here.
THE GYPSY IN ME: I am getting used to the idea of moving around a lot. The longest we have stayed anywhere since leaving Italy is 10 days. I like it. I find myself getting restless and anxious for what’s next after being somewhere a while. After living in the same place, with the same job for so, so long, who knew?!
Two months seem short in the scheme of 12-14 more months…and there are so many more places to see, people to meet. If only the bad dreams would stop.
2 comments:
Great picture! You do look at peace. And no guilt allowed. You are giving us all a gift by recording and sharing your adventures and even more, your life perspectives and experiences. I'm not surprised by the gypsy-ness. Keep the stories coming...
Edee, Thank you so much for your Blog. I'm following every word. Nice going, love your narrative. IMHO this couldn't have happened to a better person, you going on Juno. Seems like you needed this. The nightmares will go soon.
This is Mr. Peter here, I was on Juno for two legs of the trip, so I know the boys and the boat well. Nice to hear a woman's perspective.
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