How to speak Brit

Caribbean Sea---It’s been over 11 months at sea and during this time I have had the pleasure to sail with three people from England. During this time it became obvious that we could communicate but that we were indeed speaking different languages! So this is my lesson on how to speak “Brit.”

Note: drop all “T’s” unless they appear at the beginning of the word. Like “be-ur” for better.

1. Handsome bit of fodder: good food. I ate some handsome bit of fodder for dinner.

2. Spot on: just right. I ate some handsome bit of fodder for dinner and it was spot on.

3. Biscuits: Cookies. I ate some handsome bit of fodder for dinner and it was spot on. After that I had a biscuit for dessert.

4. Sticky Plaster: Band aids. I ate some handsome bit of fodder for dinner and it was spot on. After that I had a biscuit for dessert. Walking to the cabin I stubbed my toe and needed a sticky plaster to catch the blood.

5. Slap: Make up. I ate some handsome bit of fodder for dinner and it was spot on. After that I had a biscuit for dessert. Walking to the cabin I stubbed my toe and needed a sticky plaster to catch the blood. I sat down to put some slap on because we were going out.

6. Glad Rags: Dress up clothing. . I ate some handsome bit of fodder for dinner and it was spot on. After that I had a biscuit for dessert. Walking to the cabin I stubbed my toe and needed a sticky plaster to catch the blood. I sat down to put some slap on because we were going out. I put on my best glad rags and I looked great.

7. Ruck sack: back pack, carry bag. I ate some handsome bit of fodder for dinner and it was spot on. After that I had a biscuit for dessert. Walking to the cabin I stubbed my toe and needed a sticky plaster to catch the blood. I sat down to put some slap on because we were going out. I put on my best glad rags and I looked great. I grabbed my ruck sack and ran out the door to hit the town.

8. Knackered: tired, worn out. I ate some handsome bit of fodder for dinner and it was spot on. After that I had a biscuit for dessert. Walking to the cabin I stubbed my toe and needed a sticky plaster to catch the blood. I sat down to put some slap on because we were going out. I put on my best glad rags and I looked great. I grabbed my ruck sack and ran out the door to hit the town. We danced all night and I returned completely knackered.

TRANSLATION TO AMERICAN: I ate a great dinner and it hit the spot. After that I had a cookie for dessert. Walking to the cabin I stubbed my toe and needed a band aide to catch the blood. I sat down to put some makeup on because we were going out. I put on my best outfit and I looked great. I grabbed my bag and ran out the door to hit the town. We danced all night and I returned completely worn out.

Dedicated fondly to Mark, Becky and Andy, my new British friends who have argued and laughed at my way of speaking as much as me at theirs.