Pacing the Floor

Someone is interviewing for my job right now. And the employee I hired 11 years ago as my assistant is doing the interview! Since I will be closing down my business, I have campaigned the Company to keep the office open and hire her as their employee. This will change the office dynamics from Boss and Employee to Team Mates.

I took the morning off since the interviews are in my office and I found myself pacing, ACTUALLY PACING inside my house. Why? I’m the one that made this decision, now all the cards are in play.

26 years ago I was 23 years old and was offered this straight commission job to be self employed. I set up a Florida corporation. I didn’t tell my parents as to not worry them or my professors out of embarrassment that I took a job in advertising, not journalism. I was so poor, I was adding water to my radiator every mile because I couldn’t afford to fix my car. My first commission for the month was $600! Enough to live “college style” for months, I thought. And thru the years $600 became a 6 digit year and unknowingly I was a prisoner to money. Working 18 hour days seemed worth it. The rest of my 20’s and 30’s flew by with many, many occasions that friends would call and my reply was “no, I have to work late.”

The territory grew from $200,000 to nearly 3 million before the economic dive. I have been lucky. I grew up in this Company with, for the most part, caring people. So now I am feeling protective yet with no control. The vultures have been circling my desk for several weeks after hearing I was leaving---some actually calling me direct to see how they could get my job!

Growing this business was my baby and now I’ve got knots in my stomach over who will take care of it. My heart is heavy and thinking of the Greek Islands isn’t helping right now. Yet something inside me continues to say, “This is the right thing for you to do, it’s your path. Let it go.”