10. Getting a call from the Ocean Center wanting me to rush to the rail road tracks to
ride an Elephant to the Main Street Bridge. (those animals have very scratchy backs but my Parade Wave was perfect!)9. Having the Janitor throw out a project I had worked on for 3 months, tracking down what truck had picked up our dumpster and going to the landfill in a skirt and heels talking my way to the mountain of trash where the truck had dumped. As workers chuckled and I cried and those beastly seagulls squawked harassingly, I found nothing.
8. Being a waiter at a fundraiser; “Celebrity Waiters” where my table paid to have me sing “Like a Virgin” while sitting on the Mayors lap. Thank God Mayor Kelly knew the words...
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7. Joni Hunt cold turkey-ing our 10 year friendship, an unexplained hurt.
6. Buying my first car, a very practical sales car (ha)…1980 Fiat Spider convertible. With only a new job and no one to co-sign. The used car dealer excitedly announced he found me financing. All too anxious to sign, it took me over a year to notice the terms were 24.75%! Quickly, I re-fied.
5. Taking a male friend to the LSO Pops Concert as my official “date” to join my table full of clients only to have him later announce in front of a group of people that going out with me was like taking his Mom to the prom. Ouch.
4. Finding out one of the workers doing a project at my home was making obscene phone calls from my bedroom. Topped only by him leaving a used, rolled out, condom inside my lingerie’ drawer. (yes, I fired the company and made a police report) Still grosses me out. AND he had the audacity to use MY supply. Cheap Weirdo freak.
3. Finding out later that a very excited, encouraging, eccentric, charismatic Mortgage Broker that I had once used, was doing Cocaine. (a zero tolerance point in my life)
2. Getting hit-on during sales meetings in Hotels by the Owner or GM. (Blond hair, whether real or enhanced, can come in handy when acting like you totally, like, don’t get it. When really thinking "Listen you old buzzard, buy my ad or I’m like out of here.") ...Be thankful I decided to not list names you married, unfaithful, pathetic freaks.
1. Christmas time 2005. A married neighbor I hardly knew and had only been neighbor-friendly with, shows up at my door holding a gift bag. Contents included homemade Polish sausage, body lotion and a red lace thong. (at least it was a medium, nothing good about saying "I’ve been checking out your ass and I think it’s an extra large!") Like a deer in head lights I stumbled my way thru “nice weather” while shutting the door...only later to wish I had the personality to react immediately and throw the anger fit he deserved. I gave my dog a little sausage and then was so freaked out I threw it away. The other items I re-gifted. Kidding.
Daytona, what a strange, strange trip it’s been.
3 comments:
Can't believe you didn't include being purse snatched in the Atlanta Mart and scolding the thief with our high heeled shoes...."What did I ever do to you!?!
Also the key west skinny dipping episode....oh wait...that was me getting caught by the local law enforcement agency....while you and the blonde guy hid....Maybe you didn't include them because they happened outside of Daytona to some blonde chick....
OMG!
I can't even remember that photo (as if that's a suprise)
You, my mom and my grandmother and I! WOW.
And look at Mary Beth!!
I look like I was kind of a snob back then....I still don't smile when I have my photo taken....it just freaks me out :-)
Those were the 80's.......
And who is that in the center with the ..... you know.... um..... outstanding figure?
My husband is going to have this blown up and put into his office.
He'll then have to explain that no, his wife is the blonde on the right.....and then he'll sigh.....
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