Remember summer vacations as a kid? It would always seem like the memories of the summer were longer than the school year, yet it was only a few months. That’s what it’s been like for me since I left for this new life aboard Sailing Yacht Juno. So much has happened; I just can’t believe it’s only been 2 months.
There have been some unexpected stages in my “adjusting” to all this.
Of course I expected the drastic change of lifestyle to be hard and prepared to be kind to myself. But I think all in all, it came easily. What I did not expect were these 3 things: Nightmares, Guilt, Gypsy-ness.
NIGHTMARES: Since I have been away I have had vivid dreams most every night. Each one is the same with a little variation. And it is each and every dream that I am back at my job, not really employed but observing or having conversations with past clients or co-workers. I’m trying to get back to the boat, somehow stuck there. It’s never a good dream. I wake up exhausted and feeling hurt by what was said. This, I never expected or prepared for. After 26 years of business, I left a little hurt and I guess can’t just resign and leave it behind after all. I ask everyday: When will the dream stop? Please go away.
GUILT: I went through a stage of feeling guilty of this great opportunity that I am living. Feeling almost undeserving---for lack of a better word. Then I started asking myself, if not me than whom? So I would list all my friends and say; “do they deserve this?” The answer was always yes. So between being in the company of many others and the thought that I am simply taking a year and a half of retirement and moving it forward, knowing full well I’ll enter the “work force” again. I am at peace with being here.
THE GYPSY IN ME: I am getting used to the idea of moving around a lot. The longest we have stayed anywhere since leaving Italy is 10 days. I like it. I find myself getting restless and anxious for what’s next after being somewhere a while. After living in the same place, with the same job for so, so long, who knew?!
Two months seem short in the scheme of 12-14 more months…and there are so many more places to see, people to meet. If only the bad dreams would stop.
Great picture! You do look at peace. And no guilt allowed. You are giving us all a gift by recording and sharing your adventures and even more, your life perspectives and experiences. I'm not surprised by the gypsy-ness. Keep the stories coming...
ReplyDeleteEdee, Thank you so much for your Blog. I'm following every word. Nice going, love your narrative. IMHO this couldn't have happened to a better person, you going on Juno. Seems like you needed this. The nightmares will go soon.
ReplyDeleteThis is Mr. Peter here, I was on Juno for two legs of the trip, so I know the boys and the boat well. Nice to hear a woman's perspective.